Discovering Your Mans Hidden Emotions
Personal Experience as Why, He Says One Thing & Will Do Another By Dennis Schleicher
Inspired by an x-boyfriend I dated last spring caught me thinking as to why men say one thing & do another? So I soon find out I’m not alone in my thoughts as this is an age old problem: men just don't express their feelings often or very well. That keeps people guessing how men really feel--about love, sex, romance, even their own relationship! Now I've taken my own personal experience, unlocked a previous relationship and interpreted the ruler of his deepest emotions, discover the range of his feelings he holds inside to find out why he let my in the wind.
My psychoanalysis of my past relationship with a man will call Scott. I feel is on of the most emotionally detached, independence, freedom loving and something of a rebel, this is a man who most wants to live life on his own terms. Do you understand where I’m coming from?
Emotionally restless and intellectually free-spirited, Scott is a man who is often ahead of his time. He dances only to his own beat and is best off when immersed in his own internal music. Many controversial philosophers, radical thinkers, and progressive public figure who sharers his nature, although Scott is often seen in political reformers and activists.
Scott is superficially friendly as he can also exhibit profound emotional detachment. Men like Scott tend to be cut off from their deeper feelings, frightened of any degree of emotional intensity and ready to flee in the face of any sort of emotional constraint. His internal struggle with the deeper anxiety and sense of dread at the thoughts of being tied down to any being or anyone and only come to a relationship slowly, and even then always seems to have 1 foot out the door.
Often more interested in ideas than people, Scott gravitates or struggles towards the unusual in both. Valuing his own freedom and individuality above all else, he is also attracted to others wild ideas, statements, and attitudes define them. Whether Scott is positive or negative, what sense of the extreme. When taken in a positive direction, this tendency can produce a powerful political figure who is out to change society for the better, such as Woodrow Wilson. However, Scott is also associated with more than its share of powerful political dictators who believe the end completely justifies the means, even at the sacrifice of countless innocent people.
Cool and sometimes downright cold, this is not a man suited to a conventional relationship. Platonic connections suit him well, and his ideal in a lover is someone who is first and foremost a friend. Scott is most attracted to someone exciting to talk to. Easily bored by anyone or anything too “normal,” he is often attracted by someone who seems to offer a lot of surface or intellectual excitement. If suppressed Scott can cut off from his feelings, he neither understands nor appreciates the feelings of others. As his style is to keep everything light, friendly and not delve too deeply into any intense personal or emotional territory. Too much emotional intensity will feel overwhelming and confining and confinement of any sort is just the thing to make Scott take flight.
Scott's Internal Feelings
Often he can be emotionally changeable and unpredictable in strange and disturbing ways. Seemingly out of the blue he can coldly break off a relationship, walkout on a project or job or serve some other lasting commitment, leaving without a backward glance. These puzzling, inexplicable reactions that enable him to leave the past behind with such complete detachment can make Scott a rather risky friend or lover.
Please underlining emotionally shallow tends to exists in a world of my dearest or superficial activity. When called upon to evaluate what he might be feeling in a given situation, he needs a long time to process and think thing out. What tends to affect him emotionally is what he thinks about a person or a situation. Never given to direct, visceral emotional responses with Scott as this curiously unemotional and tends to talk away what little feelings he does acknowledge.
His ability for losing feelings and what appears to be a flash; however, Scott can be most emotionally erratic. What I perceive to be associated with a childhood history of a broken home. Or is the product of a childhood situation indicative of some type of turmoil, separation or instability. (This was never discussed.) The correlation between his early development of detachment and extreme independence does often seem to bear itself.
How Scott Shows His Feelings
Through talking endlessly about feelings especially if he happens to be unhappy, however, even you might sense that he is strangely detached from himself.
Often Scott doesn't know what he really feels or he truly feels nothing. I felt a sense of emptiness in his soul and compensates for this disconnection through such things as strident commitment to a cause, a self-destructive rebelliousness, a compulsive breaking of rules or a compulsive lack of commitment to creating anything of lasting and meaningful between two safe individuals.
Repress, deep old painful moments, and often in his inappropriate emotional responses as an adult. He may be amazingly cold in a situation that calls for some human compassion led me to have an internal instincts that he could suddenly erupt in anger or violence at some misperceived slight, and he may appear strangely detached over something that would cause someone else emotional upset. Often when he talks about some emotional experience, you might get the odd feelings that it is some story he read somewhere in passing.
The positive side of this detachment is that it allows Scott to function in disturbing, high stress situations such as an emergency room or battlefield. It can pose a lot of problems, however impersonal relationships, where more is required than human efficiency.
What Did Dennis like about Scott
Scott is bright, witty, sociable, and extremely friendly. Also a lot of fun to be around, because he tends to be so intellectually curious and interested in the open-ended, he himself provided, interesting, stimulating company. Scott was extremely easy to talk to, as well as a good listener.
A good friend and lover, who is with you in a crisis with a calm, supportive manner, Idealistic and imaginative, as he was fully dependable, and I felt honorable to be around Scott. Processing humanitarian and higher minded philosophical values, as I saw him as a forward thinker, leader, who together we could change society in a powerful way.
I appreciated and respected his freedom loving excitement, as it was mutually stimulating a deeper connection. I was falling for Scott's mind, and his unique way of looking at the world. He challenged me, emotionally, intellectually and valued my independence way of thinking.
Scott's Romantic Side
I always found him to be romantic about his own ideas, philosophies, and personal freedom. He was always friendly and enthusiastic but not convincingly romantic. If truly involved, his style might be to take off on an impulsive trip or provide a little surprise that might turn out to be both winsome and unusual. A partner needs to be unpredictable and ready to jump into action on the spur of the moment. Scott doesn't like to feel duty-bound, and that things are expected of him. At all times he has to feel that he is free to do things in his own way, and that includes his heart. Birthdays and anniversaries are a terrible bather as they mean pressure and obligation. It’s not uncommon that he would get distracted that he will forget that he was even trying to remember that special occasion. He wants every move he makes to be an act of free will. Otherwise, he will feel so compromise the effort that in the long run it won’t be worth it. This was never an issue to myself as that was one of my strong points.
Scott is an idealistic dreamer, who doesn't want to come down to earth. He is highly intelligent, and ahead of his time, through his cutting-edge sort of mentality that allows him to see beyond limitations. This makes him a hopeless rebel and completely out of touch with anything but the way he wants things to be. His values determine how much he is willing to come to terms with the situation as his stubborn and rigid side comes through. He was stock in his own way of thinking, not particularly open to another conflicting point of view.
Scott, on a deep level truly fears intimacy, being confined and being suffocated. Of all Scott is a man who has the deepest problem forming close relationships. He may not be conscious of this, but his ambivalent and distance-producing behavior is my indicator. Scott is a man that can only feel comfortable with another man, who was so cerebral, independent, and caught up in his own consuming interest that he barely has time to fit Scott in. This was the problem I had as I always made time to put Scott number one. My mistake, his loss!!! I pray and hope Scott will find true love again someday and wish him all the best.
By Dennis Schleicher
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